At a service with an open casket, it’s customary to show your respect by viewing the deceased and, if you wish, spending a few moments in silent prayer. The family may escort you to the casket, or you might approach on your own. Viewing the deceased is not mandatory, however, and you should do what is comfortable to you.

Visitations can be very emotional, especially when speaking with the family of the deceased. If there is a line to speak with the bereaved and view the casket, be conscious of keeping the visit brief. There may be others who would like to visit with the family or there may be a time pressure to start the service on time. The family will often be more available to speak following the conclusion of the service.

When learning of a death, it may be appropriate for family and close friends to go to the home of the bereaved to offer sympathy and support. If your relationship was not that close, it may be appropriate to wait and offer your sympathy at the funeral or memorial service. This can be a very overwhelming time for a family. If you’re in a position to offer assistance, it is likely to be well received. Families can often use assistance with child care, food preparation, housekeeping, receiving visitors, service preparations or an array of other tasks. The funeral home or church may be the best place to visit the family to offer your condolences, as they are prepared for visitors at these services.

Sending flowers is a wonderful way to express your sympathy to the family of the deceased, and can bring comfort in a difficult time. Flowers are a meaningful gift that can be enjoyed during and after the funeral service. Floral arrangements and plants can be sent to the funeral home to be present at services, or sent to the home of the family directly. A gift of food may be appreciated. Consider preparing a meal for the family of offering to provide some food for the reception following the service. There can be a lot of love baked into a casserole or pan of brownies. Sincere gestures of help and caring are almost always welcome.

Smart phones should be turned off or silenced completely during the service. Checking your phone is noticeable and is a distraction to those who are trying to pay their respects. If you must return a message or receive a call, exit the service quietly and do so discreetly.

Traditions and customs differ among various religious and ethnic communities. Generally speaking, these gatherings are open to the public and outsiders are welcome. It is often helpful to ask beforehand about any special considerations and we would be happy to answer uncomfortable questions. We can also point you toward resources that offer more information.

Be sure to add your name to the register book and print or write clearly, using your full name so that the family can identify you in the future. It may be appropriate to add helpful information about how you knew the deceased — through work, social clubs, church, school, etc.

Most cemeteries have a sign posted near the entrance listing rules specific to the property. Follow the rules and observe any floral regulations they might have set. Make sure to follow and obey the cemetery hours.

Don’t touch any monuments or headstones; this is not only disrespectful, but may cause damage to the memorials — especially older ones. Never remove anything from a gravestone, such as flowers, coins, or tributes that have been left by a family.

If a funeral is occurring, take care not to get in the way of processions. Respect their privacy and give them their space.

Be respectful to other mourners. Remember to keep your voice down when having conversations. Make sure your phone is muted or turned off.

Use designated receptacles if they are provided, otherwise hang onto your trash and take it with you when you leave.